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Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings. It involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, letting your guard down (being vulnerable), and showing someone else how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are. Intimacy is built up over time, and it requires patience and effort from both partners to create and maintain. Discovering intimacy with someone you love can be one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship. Apart from emotional and sexual intimacy, you can also be intimate intellectually, recreationally, financially, spiritually, creatively (for example, renovating your home) and at times of crisis (working as a team during tough times). Intimacy is achieved when we become close to someone else and are reassured that we are loved and accepted for who we are. Children usually develop intimacy with parents and peers. As adults, we seek intimacy in close relationships with other adults, friends, family and with a partner. Intimacy and sexIt is important to share a whole range of emotions with a partner, otherwise some people begin to feel lonely and isolated regardless of how good their sexual experiences may be. For many couples, ‘making love’ involves a sense of intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship involves trust and being vulnerable with each other. Closeness during sex is also linked to other forms of intimacy including emotional and spiritual intimacy. Intercourse is only part of sexual intimacy which involves foreplay and other forms of physical intimacy. Explore ways to share love and affection without sex and remember that sex includes many forms of physical contact. Often, the more a couple is intimate with each other in ways other than sex, the more fulfilling their sex life becomes. Difficulties in creating intimacySome couples find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. Others can find that after achieving intimacy it seems to slip away. There are many reasons why some people find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. This is commonly the result of problems such as:
We all have some barriers to intimacy. It is normal for couples to work together to overcome these barriers. Intimacy is built up over timeBuilding and maintaining intimacy in a relationship takes time, and it takes some people longer than others. Often, the harder you work at developing intimacy in your relationship, the more rewarding it is. Some suggestions for developing intimacy in your relationship include the following.
Seeking help for relationship problemsSometimes you may need help or guidance to sort through some of the problems, feelings and thoughts you have about your relationship. You could talk to a relationship counsellor, or go to a course or workshop that will help you and your partner overcome some of your relationship problems. Remember, it is normal to have ups and downs in your relationship, and building and maintaining intimacy is part of having a fulfilling relationship. Where to get helpThis page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:
This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:
This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:
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