What you love about your man?

1. 1

   Tell your man how much you love him. Seriously. Though your man will claim you're being too mushy, if you're at the "I love you" stage, don't forget to tell him that you love him every day. Show him that you mean it by keeping eye contact and touching him lightly. Remember that there's a big difference between saying "Love ya!" and "I love you."

2. 2

   Encourage him. If you want your man to know that you love him, then you should encourage him to achieve his goals every day, whether they are big or small. Being there to support and encourage him the night before a big exam or a job interview will show him how much you care and want him to succeed.[1]

   • If he's not feeling confident, list all of the things that make him great, and all of the reasons that he'll succeed.
   • If he has a big event coming up, leave him a sweet note to wish him luck.
   • Push him to do something out of his comfort zone. If he wants to train for a marathon but isn't sure that he can do it, you can tell him that he can accomplish anything (within reason) if he really puts his mind to it.

   EXPERT TIP

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   Relationship Expert
   Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Relationship Expert

   Understand his insecurities. Marriage and Family Therapist, Elvina Lui, tells us: "Unlike females, his insecurities would more likely be around his competence and his career rather than his appearance. See if he has insecurities coming from his parents not being absolutely proud of him, and have his back when it comes to things like that."

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3. 3

   Communicate like a champ. Communication is key in any relationship. If you want your man to know how much you love him, then you need to be able to communicate honestly and clearly. Taking the time to check in and make sure that you're on the same page will help your relationship grow even stronger. Here's how you do it:

   • Don't yell or argue. Instead of yelling or arguing, learn to state your side of the story and wait for a response.[2]
   • Learn to listen. Communication is a two way street, so take the time to slow down and understand your boyfriend's perspective instead of interrupting and focusing on your own feelings.
   • Be honest. Be honest about how you're really feeling instead of being passive aggressive. Let him know what's on your mind.
   • Pick the right time and place to have a serious talk. If you have something important to discuss, don't just blurt it out in a public place, but wait for the right moment when you both have time to sit down and really have a conversation.

   EXPERT TIP

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   Relationship Expert
   Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Relationship Expert

   You can't overdo it on empathy. Marriage and Family Therapist, Elvina Lui, tells us: "Make him feel safe by validating his feelings. Even if you had to give him negative feedback, do it from a place of empathy instead of criticism, so he knows you are on his side. Keep in mind he probably expects more respect than your girlfriends and sisters do, so do not poke fun at things he feels insecure about."

4. 4

   Learn to compromise. You can show your boyfriend that you care by making it clear that being happy is more important than being right. You and your boyfriend need to learn how to work together to make decisions, big or small. You need to learn to factor him into all of your decisions, and to be able to concede some of the time.[3]

   • Before a big decision, sit down with your man and write down all of the pros and cons of your two plans. Discuss which plan is best overall, and which will make the two of you the most happy collectively.
   • Make sure that both people are compromising. Don't always give in to his needs, and don't let him give in to yours all the time.
   • Take turns, even on the small things. If you picked the dinner location on your date, let him pick the movie.

5. 5

   Learn to say you're sorry. If you want your man to know how much you love him, then you need to learn how to be responsible for your mistakes. If you've made a mistake, let him know how truly sorry you are by saying the words like you really mean them, and assuring him that you feel terrible for hurting him. If you're too stubborn to say you're sorry, the relationship won't last.[4]

   • You should also learn to accept his apologies. You can fume a little bit, but understand that he feels terrible and don't hold a grudge, or you'll never be able to move forward.

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1. 1

   Do little favors for him. A few little favors can go a long way. Doing small favors for your man is a great way to show your love for him, especially when he's in a pinch. The favors may be small, but they'll add up. Here are some favors that you can do for him:

   • If he's having a busy day at work, bring him his lunch, if you can. He'll appreciate it.
   • Do his laundry from time to time. Just make sure he doesn't take advantage of you -- if you do his laundry, make sure he does yours.
   • Cook him a nice big dinner when he's having a long and stressful day. All he'll have to do is enjoy it and do the dishes afterward.[5]
   • Run small errands for him if he needs some help. If you're already doing to the mall, offer to return one of his shirts for him.

2. 2

   Don't force him to do things he hates to do. Though all great relationships are built through compromise, this does not mean that you have to drag your boyfriend out of the house to make him do a ton of things that don't interest him at all. Of course, he won't love every last thing you do together, but you can work to make sure you don't make him suffer too much when you go out.

   • Don't drag him to see a chick flick unless you're really dying to see it and none of your girlfriends will go with you.
   • Don't force him to take a yoga or dance class with you just to prove how sensitive he is -- unless he thinks it sounds like fun.
   • Don't make him meet your family until he's ready. If you've only been dating for a few months, he may take meeting your family very seriously, so you shouldn't force him to have an awkward sit-down dinner with your mom if the two of you are just getting to know each other.
   • Don't force him to move too fast. Don't "persuade" him to move in with you, go on long trips with you, or pose for 100 photos you'll post on Facebook if he's not ready. Each relationship moves at its own pace, and if you do this, he won't feel loved -- he'll feel smothered.

3. 3

   Learn to love to do what he does -- some of the time. Though he can't expect you to be cheering in the front row of every MMA fight, if you really want to show him your love, you'll have to enjoy some of the things that are important to him. Don't force yourself to do anything that sounds terrible, but take the time to get to know and love things related to his hobbies and interests. Here are a few ideas:

   • Embrace his favorite sports teams. You don't have to get a tattoo of Coco Crisp on your face just because your boyfriend loves the Oakland A's -- but you should try to watch some baseball games with him, whether they're live or on TV. If you're not big on sports, just be open-minded and give sports a chance before you decide you just can't watch them.
   • Embrace his tastes. Be open-minded and offer to go to a concert of your boyfriend's favorite band even if you haven't heard of it. If he's obsessed with sushi but you've never tried it, give the fish a chance.
   • Just remember to maintain your identity. In any healthy and long relationship, the tastes of both members of a couple may naturally converge, but this doesn't mean you have to drop all of your interests and become a clone of your boyfriend. In fact, that will be a major turn-off.

4. 4

   Be the person he has the most fun with. This is an important point. If you really want your boyfriend to know how much you love him, then you should be the person he wants to spend the most time with and the person he has the most fun with. A lot of guys consider their "bro time" to be the most fun and crazy time of their lives, and then come back to you, the sweet girlfriend, expecting you to make them a delicious meal and help cure their hangovers, but this is not the way to do it.

   • Well, if you really want him to know you care, you need to work to be the person that he has the crazy nights with -- you'll just have to nurse your hangovers together.
   • Though you don't have to be loud and crazy, he should look forward to time with you as being fun, silly, and the best time he'll have.

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1. 1

   Don't be jealous. Your boyfriend won't think you love him just because you obsess over his ex-partners or any people who come within a twenty-foot radius of his partner. Instead, he'll just think you're insecure about the relationship, and he'll be annoyed and won't want to hang out with you. If you want to be a cool partner, have faith in your great relationship and don't be freaked out if you see him talking to another person.

   • Don't get jealous if your boyfriend and his buddies talk about another girl. Hey, if the girl is hot, you can admit it too. As long as your boyfriend isn't making creepy comments (and why would he?), you should show that you can appreciate a good-looking person, too.[6]
   • If any time another person comes up, you jump to criticize their looks, their weight, or the outfit they wore last Tuesday, you will just come off as looking really insecure. Instead, show that you know you're beautiful but that you're not the only person in the world, and admit that the other girl is a cool chick.
   • Don't be mean or snooty to his friends. If you're being a crazy partner, they'll report back to your man.
   • Don't snoop through your boyfriend's phone or Facebook to see if he's been chatting it up with other people. If he finds out, then he won't be able to trust you.

2. 2

   Be cool with his friends. You'll have a path straight to your man's heart if you're cool with his bros. Seriously. If his friends love you, then they'll actually want to hang out with you, and won't think you're just another one of those possessive girlfriends who won't let her man be any fun.

   • Take the time to get to know them. If they're receptive, ask them about their lives. Show that you see them as individuals, not just as the guys who hang around your boyfriend.
   • Don't get upset if the guys are overly obnoxious. Just let them be themselves. You don't want them to feel like they're hanging out with their mom all of a sudden.
   • If you want to be cool with your man's bros, then don't hang out if you're not wanted. Don't intrude on an obvious "guys only" night, or sit through a male activity just because you don't want to let your man out of your sight. If you're cool with letting him have his man time, then the guys will be much happier to see you when you're around at the right times.

3. 3

   Give him time to do his own thing. If you want your man to see how much you love him, then you need to show him that you respect him as an individual and want to give him time to do his own thing and to be his own person. He won't be able to grow if you're clinging to his side twenty-four hours a day. Plus, if he spends a bit more time apart from you, he'll appreciate the time he spends with you even more.

   • Understand the meaning of "me time." If your guy wants to read, go for a run, or just spend some time alone watching TV, don't ask if you can come along.
   • Don't check in on him every five seconds. If he's out with friends or just hanging solo, don't call or text him every ten minutes to make sure he's okay. This will make you look possessive -- or even obsessive.
   • Let him spend time with other friends and family. Don't ask to tag along to every last social item on his agenda.
   • Don't forget to do your own thing. While your man is out with his friends or pursuing his interests, make sure that you have friends and interests of your own, too. You don't want him to think that he's the only good thing in your life.

4. 4

   Keep things positive. Don't spend all of your time together nagging and whining. You're allowed to have a bad day, but your man should feel like your equal, not your therapist. He should cherish the time he spends with you and think of it as a fun, positive experience, instead of as a cross to bear. If you want him to see how much you love him, then you should keep things positive as much as you can.

   • Make an effort to smile more. It will brighten your face as well as your man's day.
   • Be goofy and show off your sense of humor. You and your man should be able to spend hours just being silly.
   • Make a rule of thumb: for every one complaint, you should mention at least five things you're excited about. This will make your man more excited about hanging out with you, and more excited about your future together. He'll know you love him because you'll be in a good mood when you're together.

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1. 1

   Be adventurous together. To avoid getting stuck in the same old routine, you and your man need to put on your cowboy boots and ride off into uncharted territory. OK, so not really -- but you should try new things that take you out of your comfort zones, which will make you learn new things and grow together in the process.[7]

   • Try hiking, mountain climbing, or just exploring nature together. If your guy doesn't like hiking, find an outdoorsy activity where he can show off his skills, like camping or biking.
   • Try exotic foods together. Pick a restaurant that serves the cuisine of a country you've never even heard of, and indulge in the taste and unique cuisines together.
   • Go on an adventure. This could mean taking a vacation to a fun and crazy spot, or just going in your car and driving for two hours to check out a waterfall or a weird haunted house. You can even close your eyes and point to a map, and go wherever your finger falls. It's all about the journey here.

2. 2

   Make time for romance. If you want to keep your relationship fresh, then you have to make time for romance with your man, no matter how long you've been together. Some guys don't like the unmanly term "date night," but you should still make sure to spend at least one day each week hanging out and doing romantic things together, such as cooking a meal over candlelight, or going out to a wine bar.

   • If you both dress up, you'll feel like the moment is even more special.
   • There's no need to get too mushy during "date night" -- whatever you do together, make sure your man is actually enjoying himself, and not just doing his boyfriend-ly duty to keep you happy.

3. 3

   Keep things fresh in the bedroom. Another way to show your man your love is to keep things fresh in the bedroom. You shouldn't have sex just because he wants to, but because you're excited to get it on with your man. Let him know how much you want to make love, and keep things fresh by always trying something new.

   • Make love in new positions. Don't do the same old thing you've been doing -- try something completely new. As long as it still feels good, you'll be kicking your sex life up a notch.
   • Make love in new places. The bed isn't the only place where you can make love. If you're in the mood, make love on your couch, on your floor, or even in a secluded location. This will make the process feel illicit and he'll see how much you love him even more.
   • If you really want to show your love to your boyfriend, then be respectful if he doesn't love to cuddle for hours after sex. You can spend some time in bed with him after you do the deed, but don't force him to be there until he gets so bored he falls asleep.

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This article was co-authored by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model. This article has been viewed 2,193,127 times.

Co-authors: 95

Updated: July 23, 2022

Views: 2,193,127

Categories: Long Term Dating | Maintaining Relationships

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• "It help me know what I need to do to show my boyfriend how much I love him."