How do I start a conversation on Messenger?

Download Article

Table of Contents Show

References
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
Is this article up to date?
How do you start a conversation with a stranger on Messenger?
How do you start a conversation?

Tips to impress a girl on Facebook

Download Article

Chatting with a girl you like is always difficult, but it can be even more intimidating on Facebook. Thankfully, Facebook is a very versatile platform that allows you to share photos, discover more about her interests, and interact both publicly and privately. By using Messenger or writing on her wall, you can deepen your connection and start a lasting conversation.

1
Talk about mutual interests. Chances are you want to talk to this girl on Facebook because there’s something you like about her. Talk about your mutual interests to connect with her on a deeper level.
- You could say, “I saw you’re wearing a Ramones T-shirt in your profile photo. I love them too. What’s your favorite album?”
2
Ask her about herself. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, and everyone appreciates a good listener. Ask the girl questions to get to know her better.
Asking Friendly Questions
Check out her profile for things she likes. Look for places she’s been, bands, movies, or sports she likes, or foods she enjoys. Think about questions you could ask about her different interests, like “I’ve never been to Italy! What was your favorite city?” or “I’m not a huge baseball fan, but maybe you can talk me into it.”
Keep your tone light and friendly. If you’re starting a conversation for the first time, begin with a friendly greeting. You could say, “Hey, this is a little random, but I saw you posted a picture from Yosemite and I’ve been wanting to go for forever! How was it?”
Avoid asking anything too personal. You’re still getting to know each other, so avoid talking about personal or sensitive topics, like religion, sex, politics, and money.
Advertisement
3
Keep conversations on the shorter side. In the beginning, it may make sense to keep Messenger conversations shorter rather than longer.
A conversation that goes on and on may feel uncomfortable to her if you don’t know each other well.
Get to know one another gradually over multiple messages to build friendship in a natural way.
4
Ask about an assignment or schedule to open a message. Messenger sends private messages between you and the girl you’re trying to chat with. Your messages won’t be subject to the comments and likes of other people, but it will feel a little more personal. If you’re unsure how to begin, open the conversation by asking about something perfunctory rather than personal. This doesn’t mean that a personal conversation can’t follow, but
it puts less pressure on getting the conversation started.
- You could say, “Hey, do you know what the English homework is for tomorrow? I forgot to write it down,” or “What time does our shift at the restaurant begin tomorrow, again?”
5
Use a conversation starter. Conversation starters are open-ended questions that allow you to get to know someone better. These don’t have to be particularly loaded or customized. They are just to break the ice. If you’ve been writing on each other’s Facebook wall posts already, you could even follow up on something she’s posted about.
Quick Conversation Starter Tips
Keep it simple: Start off with an easy, relaxed greeting, like “Hey, what’s up?” Then she can decide how much she wants to say in response, which lets her feel comfortable and in control.
See what she’s posted recently. Check her wall to see if she’s been up to anything that you could talk about, like seeing a popular movie or taking a cool vacation. For example, you could say, “I don’t even like country music, but that concert looked really fun!”
More conversation starters: “I haven’t seen you in so long. How’ve you been?”
“So, what are you up to this weekend?”
“I need a movie recommendation! What have you seen lately?”
6
Draw on joint activities. It’s likely you and the girl you’d like to chat with know each other through something you both already do. Try talking about joint activities like classes or work you already have in common.
Drawing on shared experiences will bring you closer.
[1]
- You could say, “I really liked that drill we did at practice today. You ran so fast!” or “That customer at the store today was hilarious. Did she really think we made cupcakes at a hot dog place?”
7
Respect her boundaries. If the girl you’re chatting with blocks you or asks you not to contact her anymore, respect her wishes. She may not be interested in the type of relationship you’re seeking right now.

1

Make a joke on her wall. If you don’t know the girl very well, it makes sense to first interact with her publicly on her wall. This type of interaction is a bit more casual, but
whatever you say or share may be subject to the comments and likes of others, so keep that in mind.
To get a conversation going, try making a good-natured joke about something she’s posted. This shows that you are engaged with what she’s interested in and that you have a sense of humor.[2]
- Keep your jokes clean and don’t try to tear down any other comments with yours.
- If she likes or comments positively on your post, that is a good sign. You could try progressing to a private message, if she’s receptive to your wall posts.
2
Share pictures on her wall. Photos are a good way to reinforce a connection with someone you like. If you have photos together from a day at work or school trip, you could post them and tag her. You could also share a funny photo that is not of the two of you but appropriate to a post she makes, such as a meme, to make her laugh.[3]
- It is also fine to like photos that she posts herself, but avoid bombarding her page with hearts and similar stuff. You don’t want to scare her off!
Choosing the Perfect Photo and Caption
On a funny photo: Be a little silly with your caption. You can write, “Had to share this gem of a photo,” or “We both look so great in this…”. If you’re making a funny face in the photo, say something like, “What you don’t know is that I look like this all the time!”
On a cute photo: You can be sweet, and a little understated. Try something like “You look okay in this one, I guess ;)”, “This was a pretty good day…” or “Let’s do this again sometime…?”
On a meme: A good meme should speak to an inside joke that you have together, or something that reminds you of her. If it’s really funny, you might not even need a caption! If you want to add one anyways, try something short like, “Couldn’t resist sharing this,” or “This reminds me of a certain someone…”
Advertisement
3
Reinforce inside jokes when possible. If you and the girl you’re trying to chat with have any inside jokes, post one on her wall. Inside jokes are good because they don’t tire out quite as easily as other jokes. Posting one (even if it was created in a larger group) will make her smile and cement a bond between you.
4
Be kind. In all your Facebook wall interactions, strive to be kind. It can be hard to read sarcasm online.
If your tone is difficult to discern, she may interpret your posts as critical, even if that’s not how you mean them.
[4]
- Phrases to avoid might include, “I’m not rude; I just say what everyone else is thinking.”

Add New Question

Question
How can I get better at speaking with girls on Facebook?

Just be yourself. Be confident. Don't let your shyness take you out. Stay smooth and calm. You should always have a words to say.
Question
What would be an interesting topic? What do girls like to talk about?

It depends on the girl. Not all girls like to talk about the same things. They're individual people with individual interests. Check her Facebook page and see what she likes, bands, books, TV shows, etc. Or just ask her about her day, how school or work is going, etc.
Question
What should I say if a girl asks why I want to chat with her?

Say something like "I just want to know more about you because you're different from other girls."

See more answers

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

References

About This Article

Article SummaryX

To chat with a girl on Facebook, ask her questions about her interests, such as music or sports, to get to know her better. For example, you may notice on her profile that she’s been to Italy, so you could ask, “What was your favorite city?”. Alternatively, try beginning a conversation with something you have in common, like asking what the next homework assignment is or when the next work shift begins. You could also draw on common experiences by writing about an amusing event that happened at school or work that day. If you’re trying to keep the conversation going, use open-ended questions that can’t be answered with yes or no, like “What are your plans this weekend?” or “What good movies have you seen lately?”. Remember that it’s a good idea to keep your conversations short if you’re just getting to know someone, since this allows your friendship to grow naturally. Additionally, respect the girl’s wishes if she asks you not to contact her any more. For tips on how to chat to a girl by writing on her wall, read on!

Did this summary help you?

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 4,688,165 times.

Reader Success Stories

"This article helped me chat with a girl better. In my particular case, it was okay for me to talk about religion..." more

Is this article up to date?

How do you start a conversation with a stranger on Messenger?

Try being straightforward. Say why you're contacting the person and what you want: "Hi, my name is Jake, and I'm looking for new friends in the area." Ask him about himself. People like to talk about themselves, so ask him about what he likes and who he is.